Marching Towards Freedom
Penguins are really not that dissimilar to us, after all. Here we can see a penguinned male enjoying a warm drink during a break on a long work day.
James El Von DerBlork is a proud third-generation penguin. In our exclusive interview, he pleaded with Canadian government officials not to let the fear-mongering of dissident groups allow their judgment to be clouded. The reason he and his family yearn to move to Canada is not to harbour wild conspirical endeavors, but simply to live in peace in our beautiful country, and take advantage of the employment opportunities. As a skilled, hard-working construction and demolition expert, he feels he would be a valuable boost to our workforce, rather than ‘steal someone’s job.’
In preparation for his move, his family has already begun practicing some Canadian traditions. Pictured is his wife and son enjoying Thermos culture, celebrating the Thermal Equinox holiday,
In fact, Mr. El Von DerBlork has been able to excite his whole neighbourhood about the prospects of living in our great white homeland. He is the founder of a hockey league for his neighbourhood, and coaches the team of his nephew, shown here getting ready to take the ice after finally receiving their first batch of Canadian pucks.
With all due to respect to the handsome writers of the Proverbial Pie, the paper is mistaken to publish such unqualified, fear-mongering reports. Penguins are a peaceful race, and only wish the same rights granted to people of other descents. We sincerely hope that your publication will refrain from anti-Penguin rants in the future, and that one day, all our children, white, black, or penguinned, may communally play hockey together in Canada. Only then will we be able to unite against the real enemy, the Gingers, and together drink from the Great Thermos.
National Society for the Fair Treatment of Penguinned Migrants